the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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