He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
