After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
