im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
