So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I am available for nakedness
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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