There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
