I want to have your abortion
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
