Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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