sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
