she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
