my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
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