if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
