Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
