i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
So. Much. Porn.
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