Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
