Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
