is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
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