I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize