she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
He did a backflip because drugs
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
