i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize