She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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