it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Randomize
