Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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