I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
