I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
