I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
