Screwed.edu
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
