Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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