yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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