she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
