Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
