She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
