i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
