Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
They took my balls.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
