Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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