2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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