I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
