How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Randomize
