Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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