as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
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