i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
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