Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
You're a waste of cheezeits
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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