i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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