I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
