i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
