Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
only if we run a train.
done.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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