I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
pray to the hookup gods
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
