well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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