I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
