I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
