Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Randomize