That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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