Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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