A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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