I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Randomize
