Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
This is the high leading the old right now
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
