im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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