she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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