dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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