aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
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