I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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