You're a womanizer and a bitch.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
